The Fan Man by William Kotzwinkle

Author:William Kotzwinkle [Kotzwinkle, William]
Language: eng
Format: epub, azw3
Tags: Fiction, General
ISBN: 9780380431250
Google: XrZqPgAACAAJ
Publisher: Avon
Published: 1974-01-01T08:00:00+00:00

Once, man, I saw a crab crawl out of this pond, and he was covered, man, with oily slime. Crawling along dazed, as I am now. This crab, man, was walking along, and he was TRYING TO CLIMB A TREE. Trying to get away from this motherfucking polluted water, man, which I have just been completely submerged in, man, swallowing countless mouthfuls. You should have seen the crab, man, trying to make it up the roots of the tree. Grab hold with his claw and lift himself up. I watched him all day, man. By sundown, he was halfway up the tree.

And I am halfway to shore, man, dripping wet, and I have apparently lost my hearing, man. The immersion in the horrible waters of this lake, man, has rendered me totally deaf. The effect has been immediate, man, the water must have gotten down into my eardrums. Perhaps I can shake some of it . . Man? I AM WEARING MY COMMODORE SCHMUCK HAT! I’M NOT DEAF?

No, man, you can hear. You will not have to produce your symphonies in total silence, man. Thank goodness, man, that even though all other parts of my body, from asshole to elbow, were completely soaked with water, my alimentary ear canals remained sealed. In a few hours, man, there will be nothing left of me but two ears walking across Central Park.

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